In his mind
by ssnapelover
Summary: Maurice can t decide in what House he belongs. Snape helps him to make up his mind by Occlumency, which brings back bad memories of Potter. Warnings: slash, violence, abuse.
1. Chapter 1

**In His Mind.  
**

Maurice didn't expected it to be different this year: again the Sorting Hat couldn't tell in what House he belonged. It was the third year the Hat just mumbled things like ´Now let me see…´ and: ´Perhaps it is… No, no…I just can't work this one out I'm afraid. It is a mystery.´ And then it took a deep sigh.

´Extraordinary…´ said Dumbledore. ´The Hat really doesn't have a clue. It's historical: the first time ever the Sorting Hat fails at Hogwarts.´

´A mystery indeed,´ whispered Minerva.

´The Hat gets very depressed about it,´ continued Albus. ´And believe me, it is not very agreeable to live with a depressed Hat in one's room. He sulks all day and starts to get insecure with all the students now, afraid to make a mistake.´

Nobody asked how Maurice felt, the boy that couldn't be sorted by the Hat. The first year was bad: he sat in the Great Dining Hall, in front of all the students and the teachers behind him in their chairs. He had no idea where he would fit in, had no real preference for a House. Most of his chums where in Gryffindor, like Potter and the Weasley boy. But he liked the cool, scientific appeal of Slytherin too. So, he sat there waiting for the Hat to decide. But nothing happened. The students in the Hall became restless and noisy, some starting to shout rude things. The teachers became nervous and finally Dumbledore took the Hat away. He whispered to the rest of the staff and a discussion started among the professors. In the meantime Maurice was even more exposed to the crowd: now he sat all alone and the teachers didn't pay any attention to the crowd in the Hall. It was Minerva McGonagall who first noticed how embarrassed the boy was and spoke to him.

´Poor boy. You just tell us where most of your friends are and you can go and stay in their house for the time being.´

Maurice noticed a teacher with long black hair and pale face, who stared at him. Although all the teachers where rather exited because of this rare event, the black Master seem to have a special interest in the case. Maurice didn't know all the names of the teachers then, but he soon found out this was the Potions Master, Severus Snape. Snape listened carefully when Maurice told Miverva the names of his mates: Potter, Weasley, Grainger and Malfoy.

´What an odd combination,´ said Albus. ´Potter _and_ Malfoy? How did that come about?´

As most of Maurice´s friends were in Gryffindor, he stayed in their house, until the Hat would make up its mind. It was essential that the Hat should decide, everybody agreed on that. You just couldn't pick and choose your own House, it had to choose you.

The second year was even worse, the humiliation of sitting in front of that same lot and again not being admitted properly to a House. It was too much for poor Maurice and the following year he protested.

´I'm not going to sit there again! Please, professor Dumbledore. Can't you ask the Hat somewhere else?´

And so they took him to Dumbledore´s room. This was the third year the Hat couldn't decide and it was disastrous. Officially Maurice had to leave Hogwarts now, as it was forbidden to stay in any House at the age of sixteen, without being sorted by the Hat.

´Can I say something, Headmaster,´ asked Snape softly. Albus started as Snape suddenly stood very close to him, without warning.

´Yes, Severus?´

´If you permit me, I like to examine the boy, since he is such an exceptional case. He could live with me for the time being. That way he doesn't have to leave the school for now. Perhaps I can unravel this mystery and the boy can be admitted to a House after all.´

´That is very kind of you, Severus. But in what way do you want to examine him? I hope we don't get the same thing as the Potter experiment last year? We all know what happened then and I won't have it again.´

´I promise you, Headmaster, it will be completely harmless and voluntarily.´

´Well, I don't know…´ Albus hesitated. Minerva looked worried.

´What about his parents, shouldn't they be consulted?´ she asked.

´The boy is an orphan,´ Snape hastily replied.

´Ah, just like…´

´Yes, just like _Potter_,´ Snape interrupted, and pronounced the word Potter with particular contempt. ´But this boy has a much better attitude than Potter, I can assure you.´

Albus turned to Maurice, still not convinced. ´Tell me, Maurice, what do you think about professor Snape´s suggestion?´ he asked.

To his surprise the boy answered: ´I would very much like to know why the Hat can't sort me into a House. I'll do anything to find out the reason and I would like to stay with professor Snape rather that be sent away.´

Snape looked pleased with himself. ´I have noticed the boy has a keen interest in science,´ he went on in a triumphant way. ´That is why he has friends like young master Malfoy, who is also very interested in scientific things.´

´Yes… the wrong things…´ mumbled Dumbledore. He wasn't satisfied with this development at all. But he hated to send Maurice away and he saw no other option but to hand him over to the Potions Master.

´Stay with _Snape_?! You must be mad, Maurice!´ Hermione shouted, as she heard what had been decided.

´He's not that bad…´ stammered Maurice. ´Once you get to know him better… really.´

´Once you get to know him better?!´ she snapped. ´But… how well do you know him, for Merlin's sake?´

´She's right, you know,´ Ron said, even more shattered. ´Imagine, going to live with that _creep_… I'd rather go and stay with my aunt Esmeralda; and she's pretty horrific. Blimey, Snape of all people… ´

Harry was silent. ´Why did he ask you, I wonder,´ he said softly. ´There must be something in it for him or he wouldn't be so kind.´

´Well, he wants to find out why the Sorting Hat failed; as an experiment.´

´He's not going to perform Occlumency on you I hope?´ Harry asked suspiciously.

´I don't know,´ Maurice said. ´No, I think it will be some other method.´ He didn't lie, because he wouldn't have to learn how shut off his mind for somebody. He had to open up his mind, in search of something. In the end it would be very like Occlumency, but he didn't dare to admit that to Harry, as he remembered his bad experiences with it.

´Well, don't forget your shampoo, Maurice,´ Ron said when Hagrid came to help him carry his belongings. ´Perhaps that greasy git finally gets his hair washed with it. Just imagine, sharing the same bathroom with that pervert.´

´Now master Weasley, do not speak so unkindly of your teachers,´ Hagrid grumbled, but he was obviously as puzzled as the rest about this move.

´You will come and see us, won't you, Maurice?´ Hermione asked and she gave Maurice a hug.

´Yes, we will miss you, Maurice,´ Harry added. ´Give Snape our regards and don't tell him too much about us!´

´No, I promise,´ Maurice answered. 'Anyway, he wouldn't be interested in what kind of pyjamas you wear, Ron.'

´Yeah, but you will tell us what pyjamas Snape wears, won't you!´ laughed Ron.

Maurice laughed along with the rest, but he did begin to feel a bit lost now, starting to doubt his decision for the first time. ´It's just temporarily…´ he tried to reassure himself more that anyone else.

'Well, I'm not sure about this…' Harry said pensively, after Maurice had gone. 'I wonder if Snape uses him to spy on us.'

'I can't believe Dumbledore agreed to this,' Hermione said. 'It can't be healthy, being alone with Snape in his dungeon all day, doing whatever experiment that weirdo has in mind.'

Snape stood by the window, watching a fly walking across the stained glass. He thoughtlessly killed it with his wand, a habit he picked up in his teens. He would pass the time like that whenever he sat lonely in his bedroom, no friends and nothing else to do.

His thoughts were with his experiment on Potter, last year. He always wondered why Potter didn't tell anyone about what really happened at the time; the real reason for him to break off the lessons in Occlumency. Severus imagined Potter would have eagerly spread the word, tell his mates about the things he saw in his potion master's mind and that he would have complained about his treatment. But obviously he kept his word, when he promised he would keep silent about the whole thing. No doubt he was to embarrassed to admit he was no good at closing his mind to Voldemort. A useless louse, lazy and without any self-control, that was Potter alright. Just like his father. Snape clenched his fists. He thought about the images that Potter junior so shamelessly peeped at in the Pensieve. It weren't the memories themselves that bothered Snape anymore, it was too long ago now, but the notion that the son of his former Nemesis had a look at it that made it hurt again. As if _once_ wasn't enough: he had to be humiliated again by the next generation, so he wouldn't forget he was considered a waste of space. To be humiliated again as a grown man was more than he could take and he got so angry that he twisted Harry´s arm onto his back, pushing him on the table, face down, and growled in his ear: ´Gloating at what you've just seen, Potter? Going to tell all your chums about it, how your precious father pulled my trousers down, are you? Going to tell them what my dick looks like perhaps?´ Spittle dripped down onto Harry neck as he went on, pressing his body hard on the boy.

´Shall I show you what my father did to me, when I was your age?´ Snape shouted and he made a few vicious, but suggestive movements with his hips against Harry´s backside. ´So you see Potter, where not all blessed with such charming parents as yours!´

Then he took his belt and lashed out. He hit Harry about two, three times, at the top of his strength. Harry didn't even try to avoid the blows, as he was in complete shock. Snape then seemed to come to his senses again. He turned away, fell down in a chair, panting.

Of course he didn't see the pale, totally shattered look on Harry´s face as the boy turned around, nor did he see him silently weep. Because Snape never saw people as they really were, he just saw them through his own anger and spite.

But Harry saw Snape in a way he never imagined: not in control of himself and almost sobbing – almost. Snape quickly wiped away his tears, composing himself again. And he never knew, of course, that Harry felt pity for his potions master and that he was truly sorry for what he had seen.

Snape was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn't hear Maurice knock on his door. So Maurice knocked again. Snape turned around.

´Yes?´

Maurice came in, looking a bit frightened, dragging his bookcase and belongings through the doorway.

´Ah, there you are. You can put that case in your bedroom.´ Snape didn't help the boy with the heavy case, just pointed at the small second bedroom in the dungeon.

´Yes sir, thank you, sir,´ Maurice said and dragged the case into his new home, his head red by the exertion.

´I have to go and give some lessons today, of course, but you can stay and unpack your things, make yourself a cup of tea. Oh, and Maurice: don't touch anything that's mine, will you?´ Snape pointed at his collection of stuffed animals and other strange objects. ´I hate it when people touch my belongings´.

´No sir, I won't,´ said Maurice, almost knocking a dusty old clock off a cabinet as he said it. Snape lifted an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.

He left him behind and went to the classroom. He didn't worry too much about Maurice, because the boy knew Snape's rooms well. He frequently visited him, together with Draco, to write an article for the school paper. Draco and Maurice both hated the lessons by professor Sybil Trelawney. Maurice just didn't believe there was such thing as prediction and Draco just hated everything about ´that bloody woman´, as his father always referred to her. So they wrote a critical essay: ´_A sceptic view on predictions_´ and showed it to Snape, who edited the school paper. He was very pleased with their work, as he himself loathed professor Trelawney, too. He had voted against her ´irrelevant and unscientific lessons´, as he called them at the time and pleaded in vain for extra potions lessons, which where much more useful and scientific. He rubbed his hands with joy when the boys took their revenge and showed him the article. He even helped them, with more scientific material to substantiate their argument. It was then he noticed that Maurice had a taste for real science. His sceptical, cool and analytic mind convinced him that the boy was a Slytherin. But he kept seeing Potter and his lot, too. Snape didn't understand. Maurice even mingled with Muggles. This was not to be tolerated in the House of Slytherin and Snape planned to warn Maurice about it.

Draco Malfoy had always been his favourite student, although he was not as bright as everyone thought and he was an impertinent chap. But Snape liked the untamed, handsome Slytherin boy; he was all that Severus wasn't when he was young.

Then, along came Maurice: well behaved, extremely intelligent and witty. His dark hair and eyes reminded him a bit of himself as a youngster, just more handsome.

The article in the school paper was quite a scandal and subject to heated discussions for weeks. When Draco came up with another article: ´_Why Sybil got it wrong´_, a rather personal attack on professor Trelawney and obviously written by his father Lucius to ridicule the woman, Maurice didn't want it to be published. He pleaded with Snape to refuse it as editor of the paper, because a personal vendetta wasn't worthy of real science. Snape then understood the difference between Draco and Maurice and he refused to print the Malfoy article (which resulted in a very unpleasant visit by Lucius).

From that moment on, Maurice was special to him. He was different, and yet very much like Snape. He couldn't wait to study his mind.

In the meantime, Maurice tried to make himself comfortable in Snape´s rooms. He felt uneasy in the bathroom. Before Ron mentioned it, it didn't occur to him that he would have to share it with his Master. He couldn't resist to check if there was any shampoo around in the cabinet by the shower and he smiled when he actually found a bottle. _Lavender and pine needle, __the label_ said. Ron would cheer if he heard of it. But he wasn't going to tell him. He hated to ridicule people behind their backs. He didn't dare to look in Snape´s drawers. Although he almost died of curiosity to see what kind of pyjamas he had, he was afraid of Snape using magic to secure his secrets.

A dead fish in a bowl of preservative fluid, moved and watched him as he passed by. It intrigued him. It had big, bulging eyes and the whole thing reminded him of those Muggle webcam things. He just hoped that Snape hadn't placed this especially to spy on him while he was on his own. In fact he hated the idea so much, that he took a shower and deliberately walked stark naked past the goggling fish.

At that time professor Snape walked along the corridor, to attend another class and he took a small blue stone out of his pocket. It was a smoothly cut amethyst that glowed in the dark and it had a magical connection with the fish in his study. He looked at it and he could just make out the image of Maurice´s bare bottom, as he walked into his bedroom. Snape hastily put away the stone. A student in the corridor asked him something and he stammered an incoherent answer. He just realised that some people would find it odd, him keeping a sixteen-year old boy in his rooms. But then, he never cared about what other people thought, so it didn't bother him too much. He spent all of his life alone, except when he was a student himself. So, he had to get used to the idea that someone was around all the time.

At teatime the house elves brought food and drinks to Snape´s room and Maurice had a chat with his Master.

´You are prepared for the first experiment tonight, Maurice?´ asked Snape.

´Yes sir, looking forward to it, sir.´

´That's the spirit.´

Snape moved his wand and the teapot poured out tea for both of them.

´What I wanted to ask, Professor: what is that fish doing up there? I never saw it before in your room. It reminds me of these webcams in the Muggle world.´

´Oh…it's nothing. A gift from my friend Igor.´ Snape was a bit ashamed now, having spied on his roommate.

´By the way, Maurice, now you mention Muggles: do you see a lot of them?´

´Yes, mainly in the summer holidays. It's fun to see how inventive they are.´

Snape raised an eyebrow and curled his upper lip.

´Hmm, really?´

Maurice knew very well what Snape was getting at.

´Don't you agree, Professor, that you have to admire them: they can do almost everything we can, without magic. It takes al lot of time and effort, but they can fly, put their memory in sticks, spy on each other with small eyes on their computer.´

Snape looked away, hearing the word _spy._

´Yes, yes, I suppose so, Maurice. But they _do_ struggle to get it right. Pathetic almost.´

´Well, we also have to struggle to get it right,´ Maurice laughed. ´I never thought I get my degree in potions.´

Snape smiled.

´Why do we still have to write with a pencil, professor? Why don't we have computers in the classroom, or at least perform magic to get the text down?´

´Because then I would be out of work, Maurice. I only give away my knowledge on a personal basis. I dictate, you write it down. No Muggle tricks.´

When evening came, Snape started to prepare for the Occlumency. He was very keen on unravelling the Sorting Hat's secrets, because nobody knew exactly how it worked, even not Dumbledore. He was planning to write an essay on it, when he had enough material. It would certainly give him much respect in the wizard world if he came up with such an important discovery. But he also was curious about the boy's mind. And last but not least, he was planning to find out what Potter was up to. He was sure he would find traces of conversations with Potter.

´Now Maurice, I do find it difficult to say, but I'll probably find some aspects of your memory that are very private. You can't put them in the Pensieve, because we haven't got a clue about what is important or not. We might miss out on a crucial bit of information if you take anything out. So I want you to know your personal secrets will be save with me. I had to take an oath to do this work, like a doctor or priest.´

´Yes professor, I know´.

´Good. I shall always consult you first if I ever going to publish a paper about it.´

Snape took his wand now and pointed it at Maurice.

´Please concentrate on the first time you sat under the Sorting Hat. We may pick something up.´

Maurice nodded, his face as pale as Snape´s.

´_Legilimens_!´ Snape said.

Maurice immediately had this strange sensation, like a hand or finger penetrating his head. It was warm and seemed to make old, frozen memories fluid again. He wasn't aware of Snape or the room he sat in, there were just images and emotions. But he could hear Snape´s silky, monotonous voice.

´Very good, Maurice, just try to relax… You mustn't be afraid, nobody can hurt you.´

Maurice saw the Hall and all the students sitting there, watching him. He saw their smirking faces as the Hat was lost for words. He saw professor Dumbledore laughing about something a colleague said to him, not paying attention at all and he felt the pain again, seeing the teachers not being interested at all, while he was so miserable. Snape, sitting silently, was the only one clearly interested in the fact that the Hat failed to do his job for the first time. Maurice didn't realise he had looked at Snape that first year and now he remembered how grateful he was that at least someone paid attention.

Draco appeared: he talked to Maurice about a new spell he just learned. It could kill fish. They went to the river and killed a trout. He enjoyed watching the riverside again, while they roasted the fish and talked about spells and science. Then Draco skinny-dipped in the river and Maurice watched him.

´Come on, Maurice, don't be such a prude! Nobody can see us here!´

But Maurice didn't want to. He watched Draco swim and saw the glistering water drops on his skin as he lay naked on a big stone. He remembered how he couldn't decide whether he wanted to touch Draco or _be_ Draco. He just knew his friend was overwhelmingly beautiful.

He was startled when he found himself back in the dungeon again. Snape sat there and watched him. There was no particular expression on his face. And yet, he seemed interested, his black eyes glowing in the darkened room. He said nothing about Draco. Maurice wondered if Snape could also know his feelings, or that he just saw images.

´Try to stay focused on the Sorting Hat,´ he said patiently. ´You're doing fine, Maurice. We will try again.´

Maurice felt Snape entering his memory once more. He remembered being frightened, not wanting to be found out about his feelings for other boys, trying not to look as Harry or Ron took a shower. He saw himself in Snape´s shower, taking _Lavender and pine needle_ shampoo, instead of his own. Now he walked naked along the goggling fish, but he saw this image through a blue stone that Snape held in his hand.

There was a flash and he was back in the room with Snape. The potion master had quickly broken of the _Legilimens_ and he coughed nervously. He was clearly embarrassed. Their memories must have crossed or intermingled somehow, because he never knew for sure if, and how Snape spied on him. These images of Snape walking down the corridor, with a blue stone in his hand, must have come from Snape´s own mind.

In the next attempt there were more of these crossovers. Maurice remembered his father, who had died when he was eight. He was always drunk and beating him. His mother was dead already, he never really knew her. When he saw himself in his parent's house, violently beaten by his father, there were other images, images of a big, dark man with a hooked nose. He had never seen that man before and he realised it must be Snape´s father. He too beat a boy, who was pale and thin, with long black hair. Blood ran down his shivering body and he didn't even scream. He wanted to comfort the young Snape, but then the man with the hooked nose turned into Maurice´s father again, beating the hell out of him.

´No, please, father…´ Maurice cried and he tried to protect himself from the vicious attack.

Snape broke of the spell and Maurice felt his Master's hand on his shoulder. He didn't speak, just sat there beside him for a while.

´Was it your father I saw for a moment?´ Maurice asked.

Snape nodded. ´Yes, but that's irrelevant.´

´We don't seem to get any answers about the Sorting Hat, sir.´

´But I think we do, Maurice. You simply where afraid to be admitted to any House. Afraid to be found out about…´ He hesitated and didn't finish the sentence. ´Am I right?´

Maurice blushed.

´The Sorting Hat takes your choice into account, even when you don't want to make a choice.

But let's go to sleep, boy. Forget all those memories.´

Snape opened the door to his bedroom and Maurice saw a glimpse of a ridiculously big four poster bed with black sheets. It was the last thing he had reckoned his potions master would have: black sheets seemed so sensual for a man without any apparent emotions.

´Now tell us all about him, Maurice!´ Ron laughed, as all the students sat together in The Leaky Cauldron Tavern a few days later.

´O yes, what pyjamas does he wear?´ giggled Luna.

´I'm not going to tell you that… it would be a terrible thing to do!´ said Maurice, who enjoyed being with his old mates again, but didn't feel like gossiping.

´Come on… just a small spicy detail…´ insisted Harry. ´You can't expect us to trust you if you're not telling us anything at all!´

´Well…´ Maurice hesitated. ´He's got… black sheets…´ He whispered almost inaudible.

´Black _sheets_?!´ Ron roared with laughter. ´I told you he's a pervert! I bet he's got a leather suit and whip under his bed as well!´

´I bet he's got black sheets so he just has to wash them once a year!´ Harry laughed.

´Wait a minute… how do you know he's got black sheets, Maurice? I do hope you're not both sleeping in the same bed!´ Ron grinned.

´Oh, stop it, you're making the poor boy blush!´ Hermione laughed and she patted Maurice on the shoulder.

Then Draco stepped into the circle of butter beer-drinking Gryffindors.

´I've got a message from professor Snape, Maurice,´ he said in his usual arrogant way. ´You see, he knew something like this was going to happen if you saw your old chums again. And he will see you tonight for another session of Occlumency.´

´Oh boy, now you've really got yourself in a pickle, you silly sod!´ Harry laughed. ´I hope he doesn't strangle you with those sheets, Maurice!´

´Professor Snape said that he wouldn't blame Maurice for any indiscretions, that he knew very well it would be Potter who would probably pester Maurice, make him gossip.´ Draco pointed his finger at Harry. ´Black sheets…´ he continued with contempt. ´Proud of yourself now, Potter? Shall we search your bedroom for pink underpants or dirty pictures?´

´Please, Draco. Stop it. I've got the message. I'll go and see Severus if he want me to.´

´So its _Severus_ now, is it…´ said Hermione. ´You really _are_ getting to know him well then?´

´Yes, Hermione, and he is very friendly to me. Not at all like… Well, he can be kind, if he wants to. I'm very fond of you all, but I'm not going to say or do anything to hurt his feelings.´

´_His_ feelings? What about our feelings? Does he ever pay any attention to those?´ shouted Ron.

´Oh dear…´ smiled Draco cynically. ´I believe we have a bit of a Gryffindor tiff coming on.´

´Yes, Maurice, leave those sods and come and drink with us,´ said one of Draco´s mates, as he tried to pull Maurice away form his friends.

´No, thanks a lot, but I really think I should go now,´ Maurice replied. He liked Draco when they were alone, talking about science, but he hated this rivalry between the two Houses. He finished his beer and then went off in the night. The roaring laughter of his friends sounded loud in the cold night air as he closed the door. He hadn't noticed Hermione following him and he was surprised when she suddenly called after him. He stopped.

´Please Maurice…I'm sorry about all that. But I'm worried about you. You can't be happy in this situation… Snape controlling every step you take, reading your mind. It has to stop!´

´No, Hermione, believe me, I am happy… It is not as you think.´

´What is it like then, tell me!´

´No, no, you… you wouldn't understand. Please, I'm all right, really. Don't worry.´

Then Maurice walked away.

Hermione followed him again, but she made sure he didn't see her. She followed him to the grounds of Hogwarts and there she saw Snape, standing at the big Merlin Oak, waiting. She shivered because of the look on his pale face in the moonlight, his eyes as black as coal. He laid his arm around Maurice, his dark cloak almost surrounding him and they walked off, slowly.

´Well?´ asked Harry, when Hermione came back to The Leaky Cauldron. ´Where have you been? You've missed a few pretty good black sheet jokes, I can tell you!´

´I followed Maurice,´ she whispered. ´Snape was waiting for him, near Hogwarts.´

´So?´

´I'm not sure… It was odd. He sort of… well, put his arms around him. Snape normally isn't that physical, is he?´

´What are you trying to tell me?´ Harry asked, his face getting a more serious expression.

´No…no. It probably doesn't mean anything,´ she concluded and they drank another beer.

Time went on and Maurice still stayed with Snape. People wondered how long it was going to take to find out in what House Maurice belonged. In the meantime, he started to look and behave more like his Potions Master. He got more self-assured and a bit weird. When people saw them together they called them ´Snape and his boy´, or even ´Snape and his son´ .

But Maurice did join Dumbledore´s Army when Dumbledore died. He never spoke about Snape being his Headmaster's killer. In fact he never spoke of Snape again. And so they all sat at Grimmauld Place one day, after Potter's great escape from his uncle's home. Harry, the Weasleys, Hermione, Lupin, Tonks and a few others. Mad-Eye had died in an unexpected attack by Voldemort. Hermione was worked up about an article in The Daily Prophet: `_Severus Snape confirmed as Hogwarts' headmaster_´. They all had an opinion, shouted and cursed him, debating how best to undermine Snape´s new regime. Only Maurice didn't say anything. He looked sadly at the picture of Severus in the paper and touched it. When his friends started to make jokes about Snivellus and ridiculed him, he gradually got more frustrated, walking about the room with clenched fists and nobody noticed it. So it came as a surprise when he suddenly shouted: ´Please, stop it! You don't know him at all! You haven't got the right to condemn him in this way. I know he is on our side, I just know!´

They all went quiet for a moment, then Harry said: ´Maurice, you are aware of the fact that Snape killed Dumbledore? How can you defend him?´

´I know he killed him… But there has to be another explanation for it than Severus being on Voldemorts side, there just has to be!´ Maurice shouted, almost weeping.

´How do you know that?´ asked Mrs. Weasley, somewhat irritated. ´I find your outburst most peculiar. One would almost ask on what side you are, Maurice?´

´Yes, on what side are you, Maurice?´ asked the twins simultaneously.

´On yours, of course! But so is Snape, I know it.´

´So he did us a favour then, by killing Albus?!´ Hermione shouted. ´Really, Maurice!´

´You are all against him, you always were. And yet I know him to be kind and gentle… He doesn't deserve to be ridiculed and humiliated all the time, even before he killed the Headmaster.´ Maurice stumbled over his own words. ´I mean… someone even sent him a Valentine card with 'Greasy Git' on it! He does has feelings too, you know!´

He knew it sounded silly and still he couldn't stop himself from weeping. ´I know it sounds silly…´ he sobbed. ´But I admire him and hearing you all talk about him in this way…it offends me so much.´

Then he walked away, leaving his friends behind, speechless. They were all silent for a while.

´Well, who did sent him that 'Greasy Git' card then?´ Ron grinned, being the first to break the silence.

´Ron, please...´ Hermione poked him with her elbow, hardly able to suppress a grin herself.

Then everyone started to talk at the same time. Everybody had a theory what was wrong with Maurice. There was a lot of: ´I always thought he was a bit…´ and: ´Didn't I always say that…´

Only Lupin said nothing and left the room unnoticed. He walked up the stairs, to Maurice´s room.

`Maurice…Can we talk?´ he said softly as he knocked on the door. But there was no answer. He heard some clattering and then, very distinctive ´_Snape´s room_!´ and a hiss.

Lupin opened the door and found the room was empty. In front of the fireplace he found some left-over powder. It was as he had dreaded: Maurice had left to see Snape.

Lupin now realised that Maurice had become a liability. In fact he was sure that he had been the reason for Voldemorts attack as they fled from Privet lane. Somehow the Dark Lord must have gotten inside information. He quickly picked up some powder. Then he thought of the fact that he couldn't appear in Snape´s fireplace just like that. So he went to the bathroom. Showers were also excellent doorways - not many wizards knew this. So he stood in the shower and said: ´_Snape´s shower_!´

A second later he stumbled over a bottle of shampoo in Snape´s bathroom. ´_Lavender and pine needles_… hmm,´ he muttered. He heard voices coming out of the living room, so he quietly looked in. There he saw Maurice and Snape in an embrace.

´I´m sorry, I know you told me not to contact you, but I just can't stand it any longer. I'm not up to it, I can´ t fight for Harry anymore,´ Maurice wept.

´No, Maurice, don´t blame yourself, I'm to blame for it all… If I hadn't asked you to come and live with me… But I want you to be here so badly now, I'm so glad you came, my boy…`

Then they kissed passionately, twisted their bodies in a close entanglement, almost losing their balance.

Lupin stood there, paralysed. His brain just couldn't process what his eyes were seeing.

Snape groaned, pushed Maurice on the table, panting, as they both hastily took of some of their clothes.

Every fibre in Lupin's body resented what he saw: this great, dark man hanging over the frail white body of the young boy, having his way with him in an almost violent way, the potion bottles and instruments on the table rattling with the rhythm of their rapidly moving bodies.

But he couldn't do anything about it now. Maurice was obviously under a kind of spell. He wouldn't listen to him if he came forward now. So he quietly went back to Grimmauld Place.

´I told Harry´s friends about your black sheets once,´ Maurice said, when he was lying in Severus´s bed, snug and close to him, touching the sheets.

´Did you now, you naughty boy?´ Severus smiled. ´And what did they say?´

´Ron called you a pervert and assumed you would also have a leather suit and whip under your bed.´

´Well, he was right then, wasn't he?´

´Really?!´ Maurice asked surprised. Snape looked at him.

´Being a pervert, Maurice, not the leather suit.´

Maurice grinned.

´I would have thought you moved into Albus´s place, now you're a Headmaster?´

´I use it as a study, for meetings, that sort of thing. I don't want to live there.´

´Yeah, it would be rather morbid to make love in Dumbledore´s bed, wouldn't it? Just think of that stupid Sorting Hat standing on the shelf, singing the Hogwarts College Song just as we're at it.´

Snape laughed. Maurice didn't hear him laugh very often, but it sounded unexpectedly natural.

´I can't believe he never found out about us, Severus.´

´But he did.´

´He did?! But… you should have been dismissed, at least!´

´Well… Dumbledore and I had our little secret too, so he owed me a favour.´

´Dumbledore and you…? You're kidding. Tell me!´

´Well, when I came to Hogwarts as a boy, I felt lonely. I was bullied a lot and one day Dumbledore comforted me. Just like I did with you. It only was the one time. He was ashamed of it. So he didn't want to make a fuss when he found out about us.´

´Imagine, him being a hundred and fifty…´

´He was only a hundred and twenty then.´

´And now he is dead…´

´Yes…´

They lay quietly. Snape knew what Maurice was thinking of.

´Severus, why…´

´Don't, Maurice. Don't make me tell anything about killing Albus. Can't you see you're in grave danger if I would tell you everything? You are playing with fire as it is.´

´I know. Tell me then… would you kill me, if you had to?´ Maurice had no doubt that Severus would give him an honest answer; he was cool and calculated when necessary.

´Yes, I would…´ Severus said, in a husky voice. ´But my life would be at an end then, too. There would be nothing left for me to live for.´  
And they lay in each others arms quietly, fully realising the gravity of the situation, resigned, not regretting anything.


	2. Chapter 2

**In his mind**

(_part two_)

When Lupin returned to Grimmauld Place the night he followed Maurice to Snape's Dungeon, he did not say anything about what he had seen. Instead he talked to Hermione for a while, because he believed she knew Maurice best.

'Tell me, Hermione, did Maurice ever talk about his time with Snape?' he asked. 'Did he like it over there?'

Hermione told him about the night she followed Maurice from the Leaky Cauldron and saw him being touched by Snape in a way she did not understand. 'And Maurice told me he was happy, I shouldn't worry. We all were mystified. Honestly, how can anyone be happy living with Snape?'

Lupin smiled and wasn't sure what to think. How could anyone like Snape indeed. There always had been rumors the potions master was loyal to Voldemort, but he dismissed those allegations. He trusted Dumbledore completely and the Headmaster trusted Snape. But then Snape had killed the former headmaster and all became clear: Snape was a double spy of the worst kind. Maurice should have seen it, he knew what happened. How could he have gone back to him? Could the potions master put him under a spell even before he went along to Grimmauld Place? He tried to ban the images from his mind of the two making love on the table in that disgusting way; it made him sick. But he had to face the other option: that Maurice wasn't under a spell at all. That he was intimate with his master out of his free will. That made him dangerous. He knew all about Harry and the plans he and his friends had made. Maurice had listened into their ideas how to deal with Voldemort, he knew all their weak spots. Snape would undoubtedly wriggle it out of him, using it to his own advantage and that of the Dark Lord's. It had to be stopped before it was too late. Maurice had to be taken away from Snape as soon as possible, by force if necessary.

'Maurice! Maurice my dear boy, what's wrong?'

Snape looked startled and somewhat suspicious at Maurice, who was standing in the corner of the bedroom, naked, shivering and sweating like a pig. He had jumped out of bed in the middle of the night, with a loud scream and still he had a look of terror in his eyes as if he had seen a ghost.

'Did you have a nightmare?' asked Snape. He stood up from the bed to and put his arm around Maurice, rubbing his body to calm him down. When Maurice felt Snape's touch, the haunted look on his face seemed to gradually disappear en he kissed Snape long and passionately.

'I dreamed about you… you died…' he then stammered and shivered again.

'O well, I'm alive and kicking as you see, so…'

'No. It wasn't a normal dream. Something made me look at Voldemort's intensions. You know, like the dreams Harry used to have a while ago and you gave him Occlumency lessons?'

Snape was not pleased being reminded of that episode and returned to bed. 'Come on Maurice, get into bed again. It's bloody freezing.'

Maurice stepped into the bed and pulled up the black sheets up to his chest, pondering. 'There was a snake, it attacked you,' he reminded himself. 'It killed you.'

'A snake?' Maurice could feel Snape's gaze in the dark. 'Was it Nagini?'

'I'm not sure. Could be.'

'How odd. It's just a pet to him, I think,' said Snape.

'Oh but that is where you are wrong,' Maurice argued. 'Harry has found out a few things about Voldemort. He keeps horcruxes you know, in all kind of weird objects.'

'Horcruxes? Is that so?' Snape's interest had been stirred and for one moment Maurice hesitated if he should tell his potion master everything he knew. After all, he had killed Dumbledore and never told him why. There always had been a little doubt in his mind about Snape's true intentions and it never really went away completely.

'So you think the snake might have something to do with that? An interesting thought, I must say…' Snape said. 'It could explain why The Dark Lord never ever lets the beast out of his sight.'

'More importantly: my dream might been an insight in what's to come, Nagini might kill you. We have to destroy it before it destroys you.'

'If it is like you say a horcrux, Voldemort will guard it with all his strength. It will not be easy to kill it, if not impossible. He will have all kinds of barriers and spells put up to protect his pet. And it never leaves the house alone.'

Maurice touched Snape's manhood and played with it under the sheets. Snape looked distracted. 'Not now Maurice, I'm thinking.'

'If you're distracted, so would the snake be if he… had a mate?' smirked Maurice.

'Yes, very funny.'

'No, I mean it: could we not make Voldemort's pet drunken with lust and kill it when it is at its most vulnerable?'

'For god sake Maurice, do you suggest we get a female snake? It's not something you can just conjure you know. And I'm not going to take a poly juice potion to change into one and get shagged by Voldemort's pet. I'd rather be killed by it.'

'Remember how Harry went to the reptile house in the London Zoo one day and nearly got his nephew killed by talking to snake there?'

Snape realized what Maurice was up to and lost his temper.

'Maurice, I'm not going to break into the London Zoo and get a lady snake. It's insane! It'll never work.'

'All I say it is worth a try. I think we could lure Nagini out of Voldemorts hiding place. If we can isolate the Nagini somewhere far away from Voldemort, we can try and kill it, without Voldemort knowing we try. So if we fail, he will not know what has happened and no harm is done. '

There was a long silence and a sigh in the dark.

'This better works young man, or I will be the laughing stock of generations of wizards to come.'

Snape stood in his study, looking disgusted at a mobile phone. 'Do I have to use this awful muggle tool?'

'How do we stay in contact if you don't want me to go into the Reptile house with you and keep watch?'

'Why can't we use my magic blue stone?'

'Because that doesn't have sound and needs a google fish. Muggles are more clever for once, admit it.'

'How does it work?' Snape pressed some buttons and a loud ringtone sounded. 'Damn! It's so confusing.'

'Now concentrate Severus, we have to make sure we land in the right spot.'

They threw magic dust in the fire place of Snape's house and shouted 'London Zoo!'

The first thing Snape saw was a toilet door. There was text written on it: 'I believe in Sherlock Holmes, Moriarty was real.'

It completely puzzled him. Who was Sherlock Holmes? 'Must be a muggle thing…' he mumbled and carefully opened the door.

'London Zoo' had been a much too general name, he could be anywhere on the premises. But saying 'reptile house', would have been too risky. He did not want to end up like Potter's nephew. He looked at his mobile phone and saw that Maurice had been more lucky; a text said he was already waiting outside the reptile house.

It was very early in the morning and the toilet building had some unwanted guests: a few tramps had been sleeping in and now washed themselves at the washing basins. They did not seem to be startled by Snape, thinking he was another tramp, and they went on using the hot air dryers as a source of heat to warm their cold hands. Snape was at his guard, because he supposed there must be security at the Zoo, in spite of them missing the tramps at closing time last night.

He walked up the path and looked on the information board, using his wand to lighten it up with a very pale flame. He was a long way away from the reptile house. He moved swiftly along the narrow paths, paying no attention to the monkeys and birds in the cages he passed. When he came at the bird house, he saw a guard with a torch. He cast a spell to get into the bird house and fled inside. It was very hot in there, as it was a house for tropical birds. It had a Victorian look to it, with antique looking benches under palm trees and high ceilings. A little bird walked on the wet floor. The sound of running water was everywhere, the rooms had to be kept moist at all times. He wanted to stay only for a few minutes, just to wait until the guard had walked on. But somehow he felt doozy, drawn to this place. He did not want to leave. Maybe it was the heat. He lighted his wand again, walked along the wet paths and colorful birds would stare at him from their hiding places in between the dense planting. The flowers on the plants scented with a heavy perfume. He came at a door that was made of plastic see through flaps. When he looked to the other side, he thought he saw someone, a figure moving at the end of the next room. He carefully slide inside through the flaps and hid behind a palm. The next room was very wet, in fact a sort of waterfall was coming down at one end. In the flow stood a young man, naked, washing himself. It must be another tramp, Snape thought. He certainly washed himself more thorough than his older colleagues. Snape felt mesmerised by the well shaped young man, the movements of his splendid body, turning and bending over in the water, the manly feet splashing in the puddle on the stone floor. The water seemed to be warm, like everything in this room was very warm and steamy. Leaves of plants danced to the rhythm of the falling water drops. A little green bird flew around Snape's head, and he was irritated by it. He had only eye for the naked body in front of him, it was like magic. In fact, it _was_ magic. But Snape wasn't aware of it. The young man had longish curled dark hair, that dripped with water and his hands slid over his body as if to welcome the warmth. His penis was slightly erect, still pointing down, but clearly stood of his body, wiggling slowly from left to right as he moved around, water dripping from the cockhead and balls. Snape had forgotten all about the reptile house by now and stepped forward. The young man seemed to have noticed him, did not give any immediate reaction though, apart from looking at the wizard from under his wet hair locks and even giving him a come hither look. Snape let his wand shine shamelessly on the man's body as he approached him. The young tramp seemed to like it, as he moved about even more persuasive, inviting Snape to touch him. Snape waved the little green bird way, which was getting really annoying at this point and touched the young man's body with eagerness.

'Your clothes are getting wet,' the young man said in a lazy voice. 'Why don't you get them of?'

Snape hesitated. 'No… I can't… there was something… I have to …'But he could not remember what he was doing in the Zoo. There was just the warmth of the steamy water and that sexy body he could not take his eyes from. So he started to unbutton his robes while watching the erection in front of him grow. By the time he stepped naked into the circle of water too, both his and the young man's cocks were hard as a stick, and the two men kissed and caressed one another with wild vigor. Snape moaned in a low voice and the young man pushed him downward, pushing his dick towards Snape's mouth. Somewhere in his robes on the floor, the mobile phone rang, but he did not hear any of that. The green bird was squeaking in the vegetation, but the sound was drowned by the sound of running water and moaning and panting of the two men.

As Snape was completely indulged in his oral delight, he did not notice that the young man's face started to change shape. Gradually some sort of spell seemed to wear of, the hair disappearing, the eyes becoming cold and merciless, the nose vanishing and changing into two gaping holes. The mouth opened, and snake's teeth became visible. The skin's structure changing into that of a snake. Only when two hands grabbed Snape by his shoulders, he noticed that something was very wrong: two devilish eyes looked at him like a reptile looking at his prey and a dreadful set of teeth aiming for his throat. The hands were, however, not the young man's, but of someone else, someone who dragged him away with force. Than a flash of light hit the creature that once had the features of a beautiful male body, now a snakelike monster, wriggling in a puddle of water, bleeding green blood that came out of all its body openings.

'What… what happened…?' stammered Snape confused. He looked up and saw Lupin.

'What has happened indeed,' Lupin said with a stern look. 'I don't know why I bother to rescue a pervert like you. It's only for Maurice's sake I came and he pleaded with me to warn you.'

'Maurice… where is he? I forgotten al about him!'

The little green bird sat in the puddle of water next to Snape and twittered excitedly. Snape looked at it with disbelief.

'Good God… it's Maurice, isn't it…?!'

'Yep.' Lupin picked up the little bird and held it in front of Snape's face. 'Here is your friend you're so fond of and you completely let down. Voldemort is on the loose. He send you that 'enchanting' young man to kill you. He is on to you Snape, he knows you're a double spy.'

'I'm not… I'm for Dumbledore. I always was. You should know that.'

Lupin tried to suppress his anger and ignored the remark. 'Whatever. But this is what The Dark Lord did to poor Maurice and I'm not sure I can get him back to the shape you obviously like so much. Maurice was already in this state when I tracked him down at the reptile house and I found the mobile phone. I saw Maurice's messages on it and send you a text. Clearly you were too tangled up to answer it.'

Snape averted his eyes, feeling ashamed and naked, searching for his clothes. Having to dress in front of Lupin was very demeaning. He wondered how on earth Lupin found out about him and Maurice and their frenzy plan to get a female snake for Nagini. It was all in vain now, Voldemort had somehow guessed their plan and reversed the 'snake and lust' idea in a terrible way.

Meanwhile Lupin was casting all kinds of spells on the little bird, but nothing had worked so far.

With his clothes and wet boots on again, Snape pushed Lupin aside. 'Let me.'

He cast a spell he knew from the Dark Arts and after two attempts he succeeded. Maurice's hair was still green at one side of his head, but that would soon wear off, Snape ensured. He wanted to kiss his friend very badly, but Lupin's annoyed look made him back off.

'Now what shall we do about you two. We should send you to Azkaban,' Lupin said.

Maurice looked terrified at the sound of the prison's name, but Snape put his arm around him and stated: 'I don't care where you send me, but won't hesitate to kill you on the spot Lupin, if you dare to send Maurice to a place like that. '

'Yes, I believe you would…' Lupin said. 'If you're capable of killing Dumbledore, why wouldn't you kill me.'

'I know what that must have looked like,' Snape went on. 'But I might get in the clear now, now Voldemort has found out about my true intentions.'

'We would all like to know your true intentions, Snape! ' Lupin shouted. 'Really, what you supposed it _did_ look like when you killed our Head Master?'

'Alright, I will tell you all, tonight, at whatever place you're hanging out.'

'I'm not sure I can agree on that Snape. After all, how can I know if you are to be trusted?'

'You don't,' Snape sneered. 'Come on Maurice, let's go.'

'Alright, alright. I will let you have your say in front of all our friends, but at a neutral meeting place,' Lupin cried, when Snape and Maurice were about to leave the building.

'Name it.'

'Speedy's breakfast café.'

'What's that? I've never heard of it.'

'If you never heard of it, Voldemort won't know it either. It's a little rundown shop in an anonymous street in London. It is quite deserted after breakfast time. I know the owner. He's a muggle. He doesn't care if we ask him to leave for a while.'

'Alright. Speedy's Breakfast café it is.'

Snape and Maurice went into the night, leaving the Zoo by the toilet with the door that said 'I believe in Sherlock Holmes'.

And so old friends and enemies met later that day in a little rundown shop in North Gower street, where the scent of freshly baked bread and bacon tickled their noses. They had asked the owner to close the shop to the public for a while and promised to pay him handsomely. They all sat very closely together, the Weasly's, Harry, Hermione, Lupin, Hagrid and the others, waiting for the much hated potions master to appear. And for Maurice, who's motives they seriously doubted after he went away.

Snape came in as if he was going to give a potion lesson, he seemed not to be bothered at all by the public so densely put in front of him. But Maurice felt very ashamed, now his friends would have guessed what he had been up to. Especially his male friends looked away when his gaze met theirs; probably too embarrassed by the revelations about his liaisons with Snape. He plucked nervously at a little strand of green hair, the last bit left, behind his ear.

They all had coffee or tea and a bite to eat, while Snape told them about Dumbledore's illness and his wish to take his life, that would soon had been at an end anyway. He told them how hard it was, in spite of the good cause, which was to make sure Voldemort would be convinced Snape was on his side. But that effect didn't last and he now could speak freely. 'Not that I care what you think,' he added. 'I do it for Maurice, so you know he has not cheated on you in any way. I told you this just for Maurice's sake.'

Everybody was touched, Maurice could tell; even Ron stopped eating for a moment, when Snape spoke about the sacrifice he had made. But there was no applause yet, suspicious as they still were. Harry spoke first.

'I would like to thank the potion master for being so frank with us. I'm sure I speak on behalf of everyone in the room here if I say I still have to get used to the idea that he is, and obviously was, on our side.'

'I fact I don't care what you think Potter. I told you all that I know and I do not expect any gratitude; as usual I won't get any,' Snape growled in his familiar way.

People now started to talk randomly and Maurice sat quietly beside Snape, still not capable of looking his old friends in the eye. Then Hermione came to him and said: 'I'm so glad you have been on our side all along. I missed you.' And she kissed him.

Now Harry came over too and added: 'Yeah Maurice, great to see you again.'

'So, miss know-it-all', Snape said to Hermione. 'Can you tell me where I get a cup of that delicious looking tea? And a piece of Speedy's finest cake for my brave friend here, without whom I would be dead as a door nail by now.'


End file.
